Entrepreneurial Fantasy

I want to open up a small cafe called "The Reading Room" where people eat quietly. Where single diners can come and be okay. I will serve good hot breads and soups and salads. There will be tea and simple coffees (black, cafe au lait, esspresso). The walls would be lined with reference books (language dictionaries, writing manuals, classic works of literature and non-fiction that getquoted often), and there will be several wi-fi signals so people can eat & quitely surf. Once a week or month there would be a speaker invited to come and talk about some issue on the upper floor.

iTunes U

Unfortunately work is slow and plodding and very uninspiring. It's just that I have a few things sitting on my desk that I've put off and ignored and there is no ignoring them. They must be done until something more interesting comes down the pike.
Anyway while that's going, I have almighty MP3 player and a few new sources of interesting lectures that almost make me miss college. Almost.
So far I am loving Seattle Pacific University. They have a bunch of old chapel lectures and speakers, as well class lectures. I've enjoyed the chapel speakers covering sex and cities (not those two subject together) from a Christian (with evangelistic notes) perspective. I've shared some the SPU and other lectures (from Reformed Theological Seminary) with the Help and sparked some discussion with him on related topics. The RTS lecture was on C.S. Lewis and the lecturer mentioned how in his old age he is comfortable with visiting the thoughts of Roman Catholic writers, but is secure in his Reformed outlook. The SPU lectures on sexuality, helped strengthen our resolve and appreciation for dialing way back the physical aspects of our relationship.
Unfortunately since the EcoTalk and Cato podcasts have had some dull (it happens) episodes I've had to get my libertarian economic ya yas somewhere else. The Mises Institute does have a lecture series that I've finished an enjoyed by Ralph Raico on the history of liberty. Now if only the Acton Institute would put a lecture series together of some of their stuff I'd be happy.
Goodness I'm spoiled.
Anyway, I keep looking for a class out there somewhere that covers Western historiography. I need a refresher. I've struggled with Open Univerity's German. I'll actually need to print out the related material, because mein Duetsch has gone to pot, and just listening isn't going to cut it.

The South

I'm from the South.
And please don't tell me that Florida isn't the South. Maybe South Florida, isn't but the rest of Florida is.
Anyway, a pleasant catch-up with an old friend was almost ruined by poo-pooing the South. The old friend had re-located down south and was talking about how different it was. But what began to irritate me in that narrative was the insinuation that the South had some monopoly on racism. It doesn't, it just was manifested differently and it is more blatent and in your face. Northern racism is more subtle, harder to pin down and is slimer than an eel in that it allows the Northern racist to claim innocence. Martin Luther King had the darnest problem with Chicago, and Detroit, L.A., and Boston (think bussing in the 70s) aren't necessarily racial utopias where equality flows. And just because the area where one grew up didn't have any black, or Native American, or brown Latinos around to bother discriminating against, does not make one better than the Southerner who is being judged.
I also felt the need to speak out against the other form of white superiority, where the brown, native or whatever person is given the signal that he or she or his or her people are too incompetent to do anything and must be saved, rescued, placed in permanent dependence by the White man. Energy by the hero white is spent to focus on the goodness of the white and the pitiful plight of the brown, rather than truely enpowering the brown enough to help his/her ownself. Pity rather than commpassion.

Left & Right together

I keep a Wendell Berry poem at my desk with one particular line highlighted, "Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts." As far as I know Mr. Berry is on the Left politically, and a Christian.
I have also been obsessed with a neighbor's father, Raymond Bakke, from whose biography and lectures I have consumed started off Lutheran and became a Baptist minister. He also comes across as slightly politically liberal, in the demands of government money for the poor. But a lot of what he says about the urban church I agree with, for my own conservative reasons, such as programs and missions by the church should primarily be supported by the home church and not some outside entity.
There are hints that I do appriecate the political diversity of the Roman Catholic Church, though it is not all sunshine and roses. I find that the office of the Pope and the heiracrchy helpful in that the Church is not too apt to sway with the secular or other short term trends. So our sisters and brothers on the left do share communion with us and let their grievances be known, with out endangering the body of the Church. Unlike say, Protestant branches that break off and split, some easily, some with great and long pain and suffering, along secular party lines. There is a liberal strain of Catholic thought, pro-union and anti-loan (with calls to forgive national debit of 3rd world nations), that I don't agree with, but I see how a very liberal interpretation of the gospels can lead you that way.
Listening to some left leaning Christians, I do look for the centrality of Christ, and when finding him there, I'm set at ease and willing to hear the rest. Unfortnately, I've heard too many for whom the secular politics are a greater saviour. It is Christ who binds us, and as long as he is central left and right may come together.

Knowledge in dreams

I have searched for and I can't find any record of me possibly writing down a dream I had, which looking back was premonition. But I didn't write it down so it probably didn't happen. The 'dream' was that I was dating the Help, however at the time the Help was engaged to someone else. So the very thought of them not being together and me being some kind of home-wrecker would have been disturbing. However the dream me did not know the future me started dating about a year after the Help's breakup.
I noticed that in dreams I or whomever the first person is, has knowledge, skills and abilities at the dreamer doesn't have. Like a past me observing a future me would be absolutely amazed at my ability to type. Seriously, I was in HS typing class and was crap and couldn't imagine the day were I didn't look at the keyboard. Now, I look down every 5-10th word, just to make sure my fingers are in the right spot. But I guess that reflects the person as a dynamic being. But it isn't just head knowledge it is also muscle memory which ties into that idea of the body and soul being one.

Thoughts on Children, other people's

One of the hard things, among a thousand other things, of living in the city is seeing a scene that I've seen several times before and saddens me. About a week ago I heard a woman on the escalator cursing a blue streak. The words, "damned" "ass" and possibly MF were used. It was harsh language. I didn't see her until the escalator brought her halfway up and I noticed the object of her curses, impatience and annoyance was a child no more than 3 years old. She's not the first mother I've heard curse viciously with nasty blue language in the hood.
I've just finished reading another blog's comments where the majority's sentiment could be boiled down to some people shouldn't have children and there should be some screening process to keep any old body from being a parent. Well considering what criteria people would put up then I guess in that world I wouldn't have the most amazing nieces and nephew. Because seriously, what panel in their right mind would allow my sister to reproduce? She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and one of the biological fathers of the kids was in prison. She isn't monied. She's very likely to remain low-income. But despite her parenting skills, she's got some great kids.
She isn't the only person with some influence in how the kids are raised. There is their grandma, their step-father, their uncle & aunt (in the case of the nephew), and a gaggle of intrusive other family members. We step in and sometimes take over where she fails. With the exception of my nephew's adoption my my uncle & aunt, there is nothing formal. None of what happened was predicted at the time of their arrival. Who knew she was going to get married? Who knew I was going to buy them a house? Who knew that the nephew would charm another set of relatives so much they would keep him? Who knew? Nobody, 'cept G-d. And maybe that's why we need to leave a lot to him and not some eugenics board.

Florida Property Cheap

I could fix my basement or I could buy property in Florida.
Florida is on sale.
So that's how I see it.
So I have it in my head that I'm going to buy investment property in my hometown. I saw something on-line cheap. Dirt cheap. I could write a check for it cheap. So I contacted a real estate agent and I've been getting emails.
I've been looking on-line at properties, calling Mom up and asking her to drive by them. The 1st cheap property has title issues and its in an historic district, so no.
Anyway my plans are to get in a decent financial situation and go down to Florida, look at a few properties, buy something and have my sister and her family move in and deal with maintenance and taxes while I let time and development increase the value of my investment.
Called up Mom today, and she informed me that the city is going to condemn my sister's apartment building. Rush job on the property search. And because of the rush, I can't just look for a fixer upper, buy it free and clear, and fix it whenever. Crap. I need to find something I can put my sister in now and I may need to carry a mortgage. Shyte.

Unhappy Spinster- Civ III not working

According to the support page apparently when I upgraded my Quicken and OS software I destroyed my ability to play CIV in my mac. I wanna waste a full day trying to avoid nuclear war. And I can't waaaaaahhhhhh!

The only black today

Today I was the only black at church. I would say I was the only minority but there is a family that I suspect is Latino, but I'm not sure. I became even more aware of my lone-ness when today's speaker veered a little to close to a magic negro or magic person of color imagery. It wasn't the first time this person put in words something that made me wonder what exactly goes on in the head of middle class white people. Seriously, this is not something I wonder about a lot.
Anyway. I wound up as the tech support for auntie so I didn't catch the 6pm Fun with Latin Mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion. The thing about Our Lady is that it is very racially mixed. It's small, and I doubt there is a really conscious effort to get that mix, but there is a mix.

Gifts that I want that I know I won't get

It is Christmas time according to the semi-secular leaning calendar and thus gift giving time. Once again I'm not spending too much time giving thought to what I might get. My biggest hope is 'not crap that I can't get rid of'. So here is some thought to what I'd like, but know I'm not going to get.
In the G-d shines upon me, miracles do happen department:
Peace in the Middle East
1 trophy husband with job
Return of trophy boyfriend minus my desire to kill him
Agency branch opens up in Florida ( I don't care where, Jacksonville, Miami, it's all good) with position for me (run Jeb run)
Loss of 20 lbs that doesn't involve near fatal illness or loss of limbs

Under eh, it could happen:
A button up sweater with pockets
Same sweater in cashmere
Tickets to Shakespeare Co or Studio Theater
Mike Henry answers his phone and we talk long time
Dinner with someone at Corduroy or 1905 or 1789 or Equinox
iTouch
A warm winter
A lovely roommate who is hardly home who rents for 6 months, seriously can I advertise for a workaholic lesbian with a life elsewhere?
iTunes gift cards
A full day with Biggie Al where he doesn't do that stupid Indian accent.
A complete day spent with friends
Certain people retire
Jelly babies
I lose 7 lbs after a touch of the flu
A date with a guy who knows to open doors

One step closer to the happy place

That 2nd floor reading room with the comfy couches? I went into it. The guys at the desk said I could. Now if I'm allowed to bring in my own reading material (food and drinks are verboten), give me 1/2 of a lunch break and I am so in heaven. I sat on the couch, it is comfy. It just needs a foot rest.
Yes, my main wish is to have a loving husband and children. But since I ain't getting that give me a comfy couch in a big room, a good book and a dynamite lunch. Maybe followed with a nap. Yup, that's living.

Another Happy Place

I've been meaning to add this.
Well I have the main happy place being the 2nd floor reading room with wait service.
Now add the bar of the 701 Restaurant during lunch hour reading something good over mussels and Darjeeling. The only thing that I would change abut that moment is I'd give myself a better wardrobe and accessories. Last week I popped in because I was confused about a lunch meeting with Mr. Young Charming and Handsome, aka my ex-roommate. So I didn't have my lunch with me. I didn't feel like standing in line at Teaism and nothing at D'Aqua grabbed my eye. Unfortunately the $15 wine & lunch at 701 has gone missing. I can't have wine at lunch anyway, it makes me sleepy.
I had carted the Thomas Merton Reader with me, and so far the book had been a chore to read. However, halfway though my mussels I hit a chapter that I connected with and truly enjoyed. Also at that moment, the tea, which was in the first teapot that never spilled on me, was at it's most excellent. The splenda had been hanging at the bottom of the cup, mated with the lemon and it was an excellent cuppa.
Yes, my happy places have reading and dining.

Community

Normally this would go over to the more popular blog but I want to hash it out a bit here.

Growing up in FL there was a community center that was about 3 blocks from the house. Attached to it was a swimming pool where we paid .50- 2.00? for entry and the right to splash around. From as early as I can remember to even now, I have made use in some way of this community center. As a kid the greatest thing about it were the swings, where you could swing real high and jump off. Rubbery seats that were as hot as all get out in the noonday Florida sun and metal chain link served as an object of fun. Inside the center, lame board games, basketball you couldn't play (other kids bigger & better players than you) and an adult who was busy doing something else. As I got older, it was the place I went to vote. Last year, it was the place where the family had the repast for my grandmother (not the mean one, she's still alive).
Now, when people speak of community centers around Shaw, I question if those places would serve me as well as the one in Florida. I doubt it. The focus is on kids. Well I don't have any and I'm not one. I'm sort of doubting that the ones on my block would go to a center as their parents and guardians keep them on a short leash. As in don't leave the block and be where I can see/hear you leash. There might be a few others who may get permission to go, but I wonder realistically how often they'd go, and what else they'd fill their days with?
The Kennedy Rec Center is a nice center and does get to a variey of people in the neighborhood and probably does more in the way of reaching out to community. Not just the kids, though they make up a huge block of who I see. I also see adults of the white mid-class variety on the tennis courts. There are classes offered that reach out to seniors and not-so seniors. There is meeting space, a weight room, in other words, other things for non-youths that would bring not just 1 or 2 segments of the community.